


Change (is never simple)

by baevenreyes



Series: Trampoline Park AU [23]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 16:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baevenreyes/pseuds/baevenreyes
Summary: Kara starts first grade and someone asks her something that upsets her.orAlex isn't used to loving someone else just as much as she loves Kara.





	Change (is never simple)

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG A LOT HAPPENED BUT I'LL TELL YOU IN THE END NOTE.
> 
> (Chronological guide in the Series Notes, this one happens after the fair but before the road trip)
> 
> Thank you to @thecarlonethatalsowrites for the prompt. I hope I did it justice!
> 
> (This isn't proof-read I need to sleep. I'll reread it tomorrow.)

Alex has never once minded when Kara came into her room and crawled into bed with her in the middle of the night. It’s just kind of routine, it happens every once in a while, and it’s so common that she doesn’t even think about it anymore.

Therein lies the problem.

Because if she had thought about it, she wouldn’t be in this situation. If she had thought about it, she would’ve said no when Maggie asked if she could stay over after their movie night. Or, at the very least, she could’ve warned her girlfriend that it might happen. But as it is, she lets Maggie be the little spoon, pulls the covers over them, throws an arm around her girlfriend’s waist and promptly falls asleep. After pulling Maggie even closer and placing a kiss on the back of her neck, of course.

She gets woken up a short while later, by two short screams. One from the girl in her arms, and one from her little sister who’s staring at them with wide eyes from the side of the bed, one hand holding up the covers and one knee up on the mattress, frozen in the process of climbing in.

At least Alex and Maggie are both still dressed, thank _fuck_.

“Hey, Little Danvers,” Maggie says, softly, nervous.

Kara unfreezes and makes to leave, and even in the dark Alex can see the blush rising on her little sister’s cheeks. Then it hits her, why Kara’s here, and she feels _terrible_ for forgetting.

Kara’s starting first grade tomorrow.

 _Of course_ she wants to sleep in Alex’s bed tonight.

Alex jumps up from behind Maggie and is by Kara’s side in a second, turning the little girl back towards the bed.

“Hey, hey, Kara, don’t leave. I know you’re scared about school, you can sleep here. Come on, you can fit. Sawyer, d’you mind being the big spoon?”

She shifts her gaze from Kara to find Maggie also up and out of the bed.

“That’s fine, Danvers, I’ll just go-“

“Maggie?” A small voice interrupts Maggie’s frantic rambling, and she turns a panicked look on Kara.

“Y-yeah, Little Danvers?”

“Will you stay?”

Maggie smiles softly, the worry almost visibly seeping out of her body. Alex also looks at her pleadingly.

“Of course. Anything for my Danvers girls.”

And that’s how Alex finds herself sandwiched between her girlfriend and her little sister, blissfully happy and so, so content. Kara’s hand sneaks over Alex’s waist to find Maggie’s fingers, and Alex is pretty sure if her two favourite girls weren’t holding her together, she’d melt at the notion.

***

Alex and Maggie drop Kara off at school, and Alex is having a little trouble breathing at the _domesticity_ of it. They hold hands as they watch Kara run off to hug Lena (as if they hadn’t had a play date the day before) and Maggie squeezes her fingers.

“Is it just me, or does this seem really… right?”

And they’ve only been dating for a just about two and a half months, but Alex finds herself nodding to Maggie’s words.

“Yeah.”

They don’t say anything else about it, but Alex _knows_ they’re on the same page.

That both of them imagined a future together in that moment.

That both of them saw _their_ child running off to say hello to their friends.

That both of them _want_ that future.

Together.

At least, Alex hopes Maggie feels all that, too.

***

Alex tries to be home before Kara gets out of school, she really does. She knows Kara is going to have about a million stories to tell, much like when she started kindergarten the previous year, and she wants to be there for all of it.

As it turns out, Maggie is fucking distracting.

They go for breakfast after dropping Kara off, then Maggie _insists_ that they take a walk in the park ( she doesn’t have to try very hard – it’s not like Alex is _opposed_ to walking in the park holding her girlfriend’s hand, stopping every few steps for a sweet kiss or to pat a dog) and before she knows it breakfast has turned into ice cream has turned into lunch, and suddenly it’s two in the afternoon and they’re rushing home.

Eliza opens the door to them, looking worried.

Wait. _Worried?_

“Alex, I’ve been trying to call you. Kara’s… Kara hasn’t said a word since school let out, except to say that she’ll only talk to you, I… I don’t know what to do.”

Alex has never seen her mother this upset. Well, not since the accident that brought Kara to them, anyway. She curses herself for getting so caught up in her own happiness that she neglected her little sister. Her Kara, her own personal ball of sunshine, was hurting, and what was Alex doing?

Being a goof with her girlfriend. Being happy, while Kara was _suffering_.

Of fucking _course._

“Maggie, I think you should go.”

Maggie looks taken aback by her cold tone, and even Alex herself winces internally at it a little bit. She’s never spoken to Maggie this way. This voice is usually reserved for homophobic assholes in her classes or people who hurt Kara. _Like she just did._

Yeah, her cold voice is mostly directed towards herself.

Because how _dare_ she put her own happiness above her sister’s? She should have _been_ here, ready to help Kara with whatever it is that’s hurting her.

“Alex, I-“

“Please, Maggie.” She doesn’t look her in the eye, she knows she’ll break if she does, but she’s got to focus on Kara right now. Kara, who’s upstairs in her room hurting. Who she wasn’t there to protect, because she was too busy with her own life. Maggie deflates, accepting defeat.

“Okay, Danvers. I’ll call you later. Goodbye, Dr. Danvers, I hope Kara is okay.”

Alex makes the mistake of looking up as Maggie walks down the porch steps. Her girlfriend’s shoulders are more slumped than she’s ever seen them, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her skinny jeans. Alex is _not_ looking forward to that conversation, because she thinks she might have to…

Nope.

Not going there.

She turns back to her mom, who now looks even more worried than before, her eyes all love and soft concern.

“Honey-“

“Not about me right now, Mom. Where’s Kara?”

Her mother seems to accept her will not to talk about it (because she can already feel the tears coming when she thinks of the possibility of – nope.) and gestures into the house behind her.

“In your room.”

***

Alex knocks softly on her own door before opening it to find Kara curled up under the covers of her bed.

“Hey, Kar.”

She bundle of blankets shifts and a small head of blonde hair appears. Kara sits up, and when she looks at Alex, the older girl’s heart _breaks._

“Oh, sweetie, what happened?”

Because Kara’s beautiful blue eyes are red and swollen, there are dried tear tracks down her cheeks, and her bottom lip is _still_ trembling. Alex bolts over to the bed and gathers her little sister into her lap, her own troubles momentarily forgotten. All that matters right now is finding out what made Kara cry, and erasing its existence completely.

“I- I- I- was- I was-“ Kara stutters, hiccupping between words, and Alex holds her closer, placing a small kiss on the little girl’s head.

“Sh, honey, take your time. Calm down first. There’s no rush, I’m all yours.”

“Where- Where’s Maggie?”

Alex’s heart clenches and she pushes down the image of her girlfriend walking away from her, sadder than she’s ever seen her.

“Maggie’s not here right now. It’s just us. Talk to me, sweetie.”

Kara’s hands fist tighter in Alex’s shirt, and she takes a deep breath before pulling back slightly to look into Alex’s eyes while she talks to her, but still staying as close as possible.

“I- You- You know how I’m adopted?”

If this were any other situation, Alex would laugh, because of course she does, but with her little sister looking at her with those big sad eyes, she just nods and tucks a blonde curl behind Kara’s ear. Is that what this is about? Did someone tease Kara about being adopted? Because Alex had always considered herself above hurting children, but Kara’s face right now is making her reconsider.

“Yeah?”

“Today, the teacher told us to intro- int- introduce ourselves to the class. So this girl Sarah said that she was adopted, and I said so too because I didn’t want her to feel alone, ‘cause she looked so sad when she said it.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Kara, to do that for someone.”

Alex smiles proudly at her sister, and Kara manages a small one back.

“So during recess she came up to me to say thanks, and then we kept talking, and then she asked- she asked if I- if I miss my parents. And then I said, sure I do, but I’m seeing them after school, and she said no, my _real_ parents, and I-“

Kara had been getting more and emotional throughout her sentence, and the rest of her words get lost in tiny sobs as she presses her face into Alex’s neck. Alex rubs her back as her own heart shatters even further. Poor, poor Kara – to be so young and to have dealt with so much loss. Alex can’t even imagine it.

“You know it’s okay if you do, right? It doesn’t make you ungrateful, or mean you love your new family any less, you’re allowed to miss them, Kara-“

“But I _don’t_!” Kara interrupts her with a shrill shriek before breaking down again. Okay, now Alex is confused. She keeps rubbing Kara’s back, and when the little girl has calmed down slightly, she tries talking to her again, softly.

“What do you mean, sweetie?”

“I don’t- I can’t- it’s-“

“Breathe, Kara.”

“I can’t remember them, Alex, I don’t remember anything about them so how can I miss them? I’m so happy here and with you- you’re my family, you and Mom and Dad, _they’re_ my real parents, not two people I can’t even remember. I don’t think about my old family, ever, I’ve never missed them, and… shouldn’t I? Aren’t _I_ the only person that’s left to remember them? I feel so… I feel so _bad,_ but… I don’t miss them, Alex. At all.”

Alex’s heart breaks a little more at the heartbroken look on her little sister’s face. She’s _so angry_ with the world for doing this to Kara. For putting her in this position where she shouldn’t be sad because she was granted this amazing second chance, but where she shouldn’t be happy, either, because how can she be happy if her parents are dead? It’s way too much for a seven-year-old to have to bear.

“Oh, sweetie, no wonder you’re so upset.”

She hugs Kara tight, trying to put as much love and support into it as the little girl needs. Kara’s crying again, though softly now, but Alex can feel the hot tears on her neck.

“Am I a bad person, Alex? For being happy when-“

“No. Kara Danvers, you listen to me. You could never, ever be a bad person. You are sunshine in human form, I’ve heard Lena say it herself, and you’re always saying how smart she is. And it’s _not_ your fault you don’t remember, sweetie. You were only _two years old,_ I don’t remember anything from before I was, like, seven. You are perfect, and your biological parents – because Mom and Dad _are_ your real parents, Kara, you’re my _sister,_ okay? – would be so, _so_ proud of you for living a happy life even though they couldn’t live it with you.”

“How do you know?”

Kara’s voice is smaller than Alex has ever heard it, and Alex pulls back to look her in the eye, because Kara needs to _hear_ her next words.

“Because _I am_ , Kara. I am so incredibly proud of you. You amaze me.”

Kara finally manages a genuine smile; it’s still subdued, but it looks more like her real one. Alex hugs her again.

“Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“Where’s Maggie?”

“She, uh, she left.”

Kara pulls back, confused.

“Why? You two are always together.”

“Yeah, that’s – listen, Kara, I’m sorry I wasn’t here before, when you got home. I was with Maggie, but that won’t happen again, I’ll – “

“Why not? I don’t mind when you’re with Maggie.”

“But I – you needed me and I wasn’t here?”

Kara shrugs, and the traces of her previous sadness are all but gone, her young mind quickly distracted.

“I was okay. I can wait for you to get home, I’m a big girl.”

“I don’t – you have to come first, Kara, I can’t choose Maggie over you ever again, I think I might even break-“

“If you say break up I will scream. _Why_ on _earth_ would you want to do that?”

“I have to be there for you when you need me, Kara, I’m your big sister.”

“Yeah, and you’re the best, but you’re also Maggie’s girlfriend. You love her, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

“And you love me?”

“Always.”

“Then that’s fine. I can share you, I have Mom and Dad and Lena and a bunch of other friends.”

“Yeah? You’re not mad that I wasn’t here?”

“Maggie makes you smile, Alex. You deserve to smile.”

Kara puts her hands on Alex’s cheeks and tries to coax her face into a smile. It doesn’t take much, because Alex is so overwhelmed with love right now she can’t even-

Love.

Wait.

“Shit, I mean, damn, I gotta go call Maggie!”

***

“Thank you for coming,” Alex says softly as she opens the door to Maggie, and her girlfriend huffs before walking past her into the house.

“I almost didn’t.”

“Maggie, I – “

“It felt like you were breaking _up_ with me, Alex, and do you know how much that _hurt?”_

_“Mags-“_

“And you know the worst part? The worst part was seeing you so _fucking_ fragile and not being able to do anything about it because you didn’t want me here, but all I want is to be here for you, Alex, _I_ want to be the one to comfort you when you feel like this, and I-“

“Maggie!”

She places her hands on Maggie’s shoulders to stop her pacing and make her girlfriend – hopefully still her girlfriend – look her in the eye. Maggie looks terrified, and Alex can understand why. If the roles were reversed, she – well, Alex would be much more of a mess than Maggie is right now.

“Maggie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you away, that was so wrong of me, and I’m _so_ sorry.  I thought… I had this ridiculous notion that our relationship was making me neglect Kara, but that’s not true, I… I love you both, in very different ways, obviously, but I do. And I _can_ love both of you at the same time. I thought I had to choose, I - I’m sorry that I didn’t see that, I… I’m sorry for doing this to you.”

Maggie surges forward, pulling Alex into a tight hug, her hands fisting in the back of Alex’s shirt. Their bodies melt together, like they always do, and Alex feels Maggie relax against her. Like she can finally breathe again. (Alex understands the feeling.) Alex presses her nose into Maggie’s hair, inhaling her favourite scent in the world – _Maggie._

“Please don’t ever do that do me again. I just… I love you so much, Alex, that was the scariest hour of my life, please don’t-“

“Understood. I love you, too.”

***

That night, when Kara makes her way to Alex’s room, she finds her sister once again big spooning Maggie. She doesn’t wake them up this time, though.

She just crawls in and cuddles up to her big sisters.

***

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so first, I CAME OUT TO MY PARENTS GUYS I DID IT IT WAS SO FUCKING SCARY. They're not overjoyed, but we're working on it and they're very willing to learn and to understand, so that's great. oh, and they do still love me.
> 
> ANYWAY the reason I've been gone for so long is because I am in my junior year of mechatronic engineering and we had this CRAZY semester long group project, and we're four people in the group but the one guy is such a slacker, I had to redo all his work, and the last three weeks have been crazy busy for that. I have had a lot of long nights and literally no time to even breathe, nevermind to do fun things like write. But now our project is done - we designed a fucking robot, I feel so cool - and I have a little bit of time to myself. Exams are starting in a week, but I write to relieve stress so they're usually not bad fic times, lol.
> 
> We'll see.
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this one and what you would like to see next. You can also message me on Tumblr, @bi-genius.


End file.
